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Being Grateful...for Gratitude!

 Saying 2020 has been a strange year is like calling the explosion of Mt. Vesuvius "a volcanic event."  

It's truly hard to put the sheer amount of upheaval we've been experiencing into a few words.  At a recent music gig (yes, a real gig...in 2020), I got to speak with a bandmate; we came to the conclusion that one of the biggest sources of angst in this year of change comes from the lack of foundations. 

In nearly any other year, there were certain constants we could count on.  Health.  Dysfunctional-yet-still-functioning government.  Friendships based on love and respect rather than political affiliations.  The availability of social gatherings (and the ability to safely attend). 

My bandmate and I agreed that existing in 2020 was like standing on a platform made of Jell-o; step too hard, and the earth might actually move beneath your feet. 

Way back in March of this year, before reality as we know it had truly begun to come apart, I felt the need to do a daily "pick-me-up" for my friends on social media.  I called my little Facebook live broadcast the "daily dose of gratitude" (DDG, for short), and pretty much every weekday from the middle of March to the beginning of May, I kept up with it.  DDGs ranged from the simple-but-profound ("let's hear it for friendship") to the funny ("why I LOVE cargo shorts") to the romantic ("why I love my wife more than anything") to the super serious ("how my faith in people is getting me through this year").  

I was really surprised at the number of positive messages I received from both close "real world" Facebook friends to online acquaintances that  I barely knew.  People told me they looked forward to a few positive words every day and that my simple messages had brightened their outlook.  I had never expected my daily exercise to have any kind of wide-reaching effect; in truth, I had been doing these posts to give myself a daily reminder that the world wasn't ending.  

In the current context we're living in, on top of the foundation of Jell-o, at a point in history where it seems like the most ridiculous potential outcome is more likely all the time, could it be possible that gratitude could be a new foundation?  Let me explain....

Many people believe that some kind of higher intelligence occasionally makes its presence known in our reality.  Whether you call it God, the Great All, the Universe, or even nature itself is not my place to judge (or set judgement).  Could it be possible that 2020's "mission statement" is to remind us of what we have?  If 2020 were a management consultant, I could see his or her mission looking something like this: 

"The purpose of this year is to remind the people of Earth just how many wonderful things come from being together in community by  showing them how easily these precious things can be taken away."

Could it be that we've taken all of these wonderful parts of being with other people for granted?  Before 2020, when was the last time any of us were grateful for a hug?  Or a night at the bar with our friends?  Or a baseball game on a clear June night?  When was the last time we closed our eyes at a rock concert to be grateful for the beat of the drums and the songs in the air? 

Believe me, I'm not preaching at you.  In 2019, I played 35 shows between May and August in three different ensembles.  I was so busy prepping for gigs that I never thought to stop for a minute to reflect on how lucky I was to be on beautiful stages with even more beautiful friends making music.  Motion overtook presence.  

Between May and August of 2020,  I played three shows.  That's an 86% decrease. These gigs no longer felt like checking off "to do's" from a list; they felt like gifts.  Treasures to be savored and remembered. 

We have so much to lose.  From backyard BBQ's to bowling alleys, happy hours to handshakes.  In my life, I've never been so grateful to see a friend's name pop up in a text message (or, even better, as a caller ID).  The rare in-person gatherings are like winning the lottery; being near our friends and family is like finding out that the people you thought were lost at sea were merely marooned on an island...and are now back and ok.  

I returned to the classroom this past August as a college professor.  Despite donning a mask and practicing safety protocols, I got to be back with my students, to experience an exchange of ideas in the same room at the same time.  Even in a sea of face masks, I can make out the smiling eyes (or sleepy ones on a Monday morning or Friday afternoon).  I have never been more glad to have a young person ask a question or engage in conversation in a class.

Maybe gratitude is at least part of the answer.  Before we get mean with our friend who holds an opposing political viewpoint, perhaps we should consider how grateful we are for their friendship.  Before we complain about how inconvenient our lives are, we could remind ourselves of the roofs over our heads and food in our bellies.  Before we spit venom about how difficult our jobs have become, it may be wise to consider those who no longer have an income. 

None of these points mean we should stand for a lack of justice, fairness, or excellence...but maybe if we remember to appreciate what we have, we'll make good decisions in the future regarding how to keep it. 

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